Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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