I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
