Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
