I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
