What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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