dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Apparently you make a good broom.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
