its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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