You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
