At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
