i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
