I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
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