i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
