thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
