i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
