he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
