In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
