Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
