don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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