Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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