the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize