I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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