She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
