yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
