wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
