So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
