I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
