I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
