I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
