Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
