I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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