After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize