You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have fence marks all over my body
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
