I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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