i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
