So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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