Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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