i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize