How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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