I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
