Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
