that's an acceptable place to lick
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
