girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
