Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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