This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
smell my finger.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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