so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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