I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
