just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
