Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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