Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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