Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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