What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
