I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
