i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
