Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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