i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
