how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
