my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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