i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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