North Korea, Best Korea!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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