I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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