Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You made out with two different species that night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
