lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
