Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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