Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
